Why after a couple of days/weeks/months the once inspired practice dwindles into a chore and then disappears altogether?
Because we are not computers. Copy - Paste will not fly.
The practice of meditation came to us from the Far East, where humans (and their bodies) had habits and lifestyles so very different from ours. For example, chairs were (and still are in many places) virtually non-existent so crossed-legged sitting is a natural part of life. Because of this simple reason alone it’s already absurd, from my point of view, to expect a modern high-heel balancing cocktail-swinging Mary to adopt the meditation traditions unaltered for her realities.
And of course, it’s not just about the body. It’s a total myth that meditation must be a lovemaking to the silence and emptiness. Empty mind meditation is all but one school of thought. There are hundreds of techniques and methods - from visualization and affirmations to breathing, walking, movement, love, and even sleep meditation, to name just a few. Most of us spend 99% of hour days stuck in the mind. Very few are naturally attuned to living from the body, living in the sensations. So it’s extremely unrealistic to expect empty mind meditation to instantly work for you.
I love love love the approach of my Russian teacher. He’s hella cheeky with his yoga nidra classes (sleep meditation). His advertising is always all about how incredibly relaxed you will be after class. So newbies lazily pour into his class in sleepy anticipation that they are about to be tucked into sleep on their mats. Instead for the first half of the class they are taken through the most hard core flow practice, so that when FINALLY they are allowed to lie down, even the most jumpiest of the minds passes out into the promised relaxation.
My point is: Make the meditation serve you, not the other way round. Adjust your practice according to YOUR body, YOUR goals, YOUR lifestyle, YOUR life. Scroll through the carousel for a few useful questions to consider to help you fine tune your practice.
Over the next 3 months I will be bringing meditation into a daily life of a modem man and woman. If you are not a monk living in a cave or blissed out in Bali under a palm tree (that’s me yesterday!) and want to learn how to modern-life-hack your meditation, stay tuned. To keep up you can follow the hashtag:
Make sure that you are in physical comfort, otherwise all of your untrained attention will be leaking into feeling weird, fidgeting and checking how much longer you have to sit like this. If you know that you tend to get sleepy (although is it really the end of the day is you relaxed and nap?? naps are AWESOME), prop yourself up. Sometimes it helps to have pillows/blankets arranged around your waste like a fort. So it feels like you are protected, secure, supported and ready to explore.
Get clear about what you want from the meditation. Are you looking to relax, to feel stronger, to recharge, to process a difficult emotion, to invoke a particular state or image or go on a spiritual journey. What are your long-term goals? Choose a meditation style that is most supportive of your current needs. And if you need some support in figuring out your needs and how to match them to a particular meditation, DM or follow the link in bio for more info on personalised support and individual programs.
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Know your mind and your body. When are you more likely to concentrate? Your mind and body need to be awake and energised enough to stay awake and not melt into a stupor, but also not too excited. For example, some entrepreneurs find that in the morning they are buzzing with anticipation of the work tasks and morning emails making it very difficult to concentrate on anything else. Be flexible. You can get your first round of tasks out of the way and then settle into a meditation.
Please forget about being ambitious when it comes to meditation. In almost all cases the whole point of meditation is to help you switch to a different state or mindset, to experience a pace, a mode of operation that is different from the habitual. Don’t equate your meditation practice to your gym routine where you must hit 45 - 60 min goal. Start small. If it is to stick, your practice needs to be a pleasant oasis, a mini-retreat. Forget about revolutions, go big or go home and the like. We lean into pleasure more naturally and escape pain and discomfort.
Let me end with a little food for thought question: why do you insist that your practice sticks? Do you expect that you will meditate 365 days every year? Because you won’t (please call me if you do, I legit want to meet you). And you don’t need to. It may look cool on your habit tracking app. It might be a fun (for you, not for the listener) story to tell at parties. It might tickle your need to control things. It’s ok to let go of your practice and return to it when you need it again. Just make sure that you are not letting go for the wrong reasons - like being too stressed or too busy. Because when you are stressed and busy the chances are you need your practice the most. Otherwise, as I will be discussing in the next posts, meditation is in everyday life. And the more mindful and in-the-body you are, the less you need a formalised space to sit with yourself.